Ok this may be long winded
First. I wanted just a few things out of this movie, and if I got them I would likely enjoy it since it delivered what I needed it to.
1.Bad ass Kate Beckinsale(my expectation: Salene 2.0)
2.Hot Kate Beckinsale
3.Cool visuals(Len is a visual director)
4.Cool action scenes(this includes cool tech)
I didn't go into this movie giving a shit about the characters or the story... If I happen to like either than bonus points to you Total Recall.
Did it deliver on the 4 things I needed it to? Yes.
Kate Beckinsale was basically a death dealer in this movie except without a soft gooey inside like Salene. She was a death dealer 100% of the time. She wanted blood and that's it. At all costs. This movie also contained the best Kate underwear scene since Whiteout. Kate was a bad ass for sure, even down to that cold hard gaze of hers(more on that later). The action was good and I enjoyed the hand to hand stuff and the scenes where Colin's character is trying to escape since it takes us all through the dingy wet city. And yes visually this movie is quite a spectacle*. I wouldn't expect anything less from Len Wiseman since the biggest reason why I like him is because of his visual style.
I actually enjoyed the story.. bonus point.
I didn't give a fuck about the characters... but honestly I didn't need to to get what i needed from this film.
Now for all intents and purpose this movie is VERY similar to the first two underworld films. Here's why(i'll get to why this matters).
1.Very wet and dark color tones
2.The way in which Kate Beckinsale is shot, like the long pauses on her face as she looks pissed off with that cold evil gaze she has with her mouth open
3. The fight scenes and shoot out scenes... I would venture a guess that the choreography is done by some of the same people. And yes many bullets are shot.. and very few hit their mark... ala subway shootout scene in underworld. Many of the moves Kate's character uses look ripped from the underworld movies. She even jumps down and lands just like Salene..and that famous run.. hah.
5. The tech
Now why I mention this is because if you liked how the underworld movies were directed(first 2) than you'll likely also like this movie. If you thought the underworld films were garbage than you'll likely want to let racoons feast on this one as well.
I went into this movie not giving a shit about the first Total Recall. You shouldn't either. It's not the same movie and I took it as such. Plus I don't even remember the "classic" because like most sci fi "classics" it was probably deserving of a racoon's stomach acid..see what I did there?
I am probably the only one that will like this movie for the reasons above. That said I can't grade this movie, because I just don't know how it will hold up on a second watch. I fear I could flip on this movie off a second watch..or... i'll like it still.
I enjoyed it... you will to if you like the stuff I wrote about. Best word to describe it is "cool"
This turtle gives it a
*the special effects are very well done and it looks expensive.