Unlike other candidates in the Republican primaries, John McCain says he believes in the Theory of Evolution. That's because he watched it happen with his own eyes!
The credit crunch is getting bad isn’t it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I’m now America’s third biggest lender.
A lobbyist on his way home from Parliament is stuck in traffic. Noticing a police officer, he winds down his window and asks: ‘What’s the hold-up?’ The policeman replies: ‘The Prime Minister is so depressed he’s stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire. He says no one believes he can get us through the credit crunch. So we’re taking up a collection for him.’ The lobbyist asks: ‘How much have you got so far?’ The officer replies: ‘About 40 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning.’
Q: What is the capital of Iceland?
Q: Why did John McCain take so long to release his medical records?
The archaeologists had to find them all first.
Q: Why did Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because he was running out of George Bush jokes.
Q: What’s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: What’s the definition of optimism?
An Investment Banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday evening.
I went to the ATM this morning and it said “insufficient funds”.
Talked to my bank manager the other day and he said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on.
He sold me one outside KFC yesterday.
(NOTE: The big issue is a British current affairs magazine sold by homeless people)
Q: What’s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons?
The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW’s.