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#2148773 - 08/27/09 06:47 PM Re: Religious (?) joke [Re: Oriental Knight]
DeepAtSea Offline
The Pornographer

Registered: 07/10/07
Posts: 26304
Loc: On SP Blacklist
Originally Posted By: jlojuicy
An atheist walked into a bar, but seeing no bartender he revised his initial assumption and decided he only walked into a room.

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

none...they never knew there was light in the room in the first place.

Two. One to change it, and one to link it to Evolution.

None. They'll just wait for the burned bulb to evolve into a working light bulb.

One hundred. One to deny that there ever was light or that he needs light and ninenty-nine to run around to find matches.


The jokes aren't supposed to be funny? Maybe that's different in Seattle? thinking evilplot grin nana

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#2148811 - 08/27/09 06:56 PM Re: Religious (?) joke [Re: DeepAtSea]
Oriental Knight Offline
Mythical Figure

Registered: 04/30/09
Posts: 64088
Originally Posted By: DeepAtSea
Originally Posted By: jlojuicy
An atheist walked into a bar, but seeing no bartender he revised his initial assumption and decided he only walked into a room.

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

none...they never knew there was light in the room in the first place.

Two. One to change it, and one to link it to Evolution.

None. They'll just wait for the burned bulb to evolve into a working light bulb.

One hundred. One to deny that there ever was light or that he needs light and ninenty-nine to run around to find matches.


The jokes aren't supposed to be funny? Maybe that's different in Seattle? thinking evilplot grin nana


Hey, I'm no Woody Allen biggrin...I thought these up myself...except the first one.
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#2148850 - 08/27/09 07:03 PM Re: Religious (?) joke [Re: Oriental Knight]
The_Amber_Spyglass Offline
Monitor Tanned

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 5890
Loc: Jordan College, Lyra's Oxford
Originally Posted By: jlojuicy
An atheist walked into a bar, but seeing no bartender he revised his initial assumption and decided he only walked into a room.

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

none...they never knew there was light in the room in the first place.

Two. One to change it, and one to link it to Evolution.

None. They'll just wait for the burned bulb to evolve into a working light bulb.

One hundred. One to deny that there ever was light or that he needs light and ninenty-nine to run around to find matches.


I hadn't heard those but I have heard another one with a different answer:

It takes 2. One to change it and the other to record it as evidence in case any creationists claimed "God did it".
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#2148885 - 08/27/09 07:13 PM Re: Religious (?) joke [Re: The_Amber_Spyglass]
Oriental Knight Offline
Mythical Figure

Registered: 04/30/09
Posts: 64088
Originally Posted By: matt75


I hadn't heard those but I have heard another one with a different answer:

It takes 2. One to change it and the other to record it as evidence in case any creationists claimed "God did it".


Honestly that I can't blame you. Whenever something happens and science fails to explain it convincingly, religious explanations are taken up by default. So better safe than sorry. thumb
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#2148965 - 08/27/09 07:35 PM Re: Religious (?) joke [Re: Oriental Knight]
The_Amber_Spyglass Offline
Monitor Tanned

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 5890
Loc: Jordan College, Lyra's Oxford
Q: How many creationists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Click to reveal..
None. Lightbulbs don't change, they were made that way


----------------------

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: Four. The pope who makes the decision to change the light bulb. A Cardinal who hands down the pope's directive to the local bishop. The local bishop who orders the priest or pastoral assistant to change the bulb.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way , long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Greek Orthodox: The whole congregation. The priest changes the light bulb. Then all faithful celebrate with red wine, ouzo, gyros, souvlaki, baklava, etc. to turn it into an ancient tradition of the annual light creating feast day.

Amish: I ask thee, "What is a light bulb " ?
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#2148986 - 08/27/09 07:45 PM Re: Religious (?) joke [Re: The_Amber_Spyglass]
Moonman Offline
Lurking from the Darkside

Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 41263
Ok this one isn't a Religious joke , but it is related to jlo:

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to want to change. whistle
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#2148994 - 08/27/09 07:51 PM Re: Religious (?) joke [Re: Moonman]
Oriental Knight Offline
Mythical Figure

Registered: 04/30/09
Posts: 64088
Originally Posted By: Moonman
Ok this one isn't a Religious joke , but it is related to jlo:

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to want to change. whistle


haha, that's right. thumb biggrin

If patient changes, credit to the psychiatrist. If patient doesn't, it's because s/he didn't want to. Win-win!

biggrin
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#2149032 - 08/27/09 08:03 PM Re: Religious (?) joke [Re: Oriental Knight]
The_Amber_Spyglass Offline
Monitor Tanned

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 5890
Loc: Jordan College, Lyra's Oxford
Well the only archaeology joke I heard was this: Every woman should marry an archaeologist... because the older she gets the more interested in her he becomes.
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#2149055 - 08/27/09 08:16 PM Re: Religious (?) joke [Re: The_Amber_Spyglass]
Oriental Knight Offline
Mythical Figure

Registered: 04/30/09
Posts: 64088
Originally Posted By: matt75
Well the only archaeology joke I heard was this: Every woman should marry an archaeologist... because the older she gets the more interested in her he becomes.


hey that's good. Too bad you already have someone...could've had your pick of the litter! crazy
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#2149079 - 08/27/09 08:26 PM Re: Religious (?) joke [Re: Moonman]
1oldminer Online   content
Permanent Resident

Registered: 08/01/05
Posts: 7297
Loc: Stopping the Juubi's revival
Originally Posted By: Moonman
Ok this one isn't a Religious joke , but it is related to jlo:

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to want to change. whistle


roflThat's a good one!
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To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary.
To one without faith, no explanation is possible". ~Thomas Aquinas


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