1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving head.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. Giving head will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy f***s.
11. People in the 70's couldn't f*** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those t*** are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect p**** and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they c**.
15. If there is two of them they always "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of s*** out of you if you shove your c*** in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patient's c****.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before f***ing the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's c***, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a c*** there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during getting head, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

I'm sensing a note of sarcasm in this list. Don't f*ck with my illusions, man!!! Number 23 could happen, dammit!!!

classic

brilliant

31. Having the overly hung black guy(s) she's having sex with call her slut/bi*tch is completely acceptible.

32.Six foot tall bleach blondes with tattoos, 5 inch patent leather high heels, painfully obvious breast implants, enhanced lips and tons of makeup on their faces ARE believable as schoolgirls when in a schoolgirl skirt & doin' it in a classroom!

33. All women have berely any (or no) pubic hair.

34. All women place themselves in the position where they can get sperm on thier face or in their mouths when their partner ejaculates.

35. All small boobed women are very young and just barely able to be pornstars legally. They aren't just adult women with small tits posing as "barely legal" porn starlets.

36. Only women with an identical twin can have sex with the same guy at the same time with their sister.
...Uhhh, wait a minute... perhaps that one IS true!!

"11. People in the 70's couldn't f*** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background."

You mean that ones not true? I thought thats how I was conceived! To a Hendrix solo!

Man that's a really good list of observations