There once was a insomniac agnostic dyslexic person.
He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog.

Might be funnier in Q and A format.

Q: What does an insomniac agnostic dyslexic person do all night ?

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate. On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

'I pulled out the wine and water to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

'He bested me at every move and I could not continue.'

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.

'I haven't a clue' the rabbi said. 'First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.

'Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.'

'And then what?' asked a woman.

'Who knows?' said the rabbi. 'He took out his lunch so I took out mine.'

Being an atheist feels a lot like this sometimes.

^^^
That's both funny and true.

Funny you say Bible started as a joke and went too far.

In that spirit, here is my version:

Atheism is a hollow movement, it's very existence defined by its hostility towards the (unearned) authority of organized religion. So I'll say atheism started out as vendetta, now it's a joke. Moral high ground, I don't think so. Intellectual high ground? Just a guise.

Atheism isn't a "movement", hahaha.

Atheism is just the absence of superstitious belief in a religion or supernatural deity.

I wasn't seriously implying religion began as a joke, btw. Far from it. Many people died unnecessarily in the establishment of almost every major religion.

Hardly a movement. Atheism is defined by a lack of belief in something. Atheists pride themselves on their independence, not on the herd mentality that is encouraged by religion. You're right that religious privelege is unearned though.


Never pretended to be.

Religions throw words around like "peace", "love" and "tolerance". They fall over each other to proclaim their monopoly on such things but always manage to reel off a long list of exceptions. Hypocrisy is not to be admired no matter how flowery the language.


I beg to differ. We pride ourselves on learning new things and searching for answers. We don't need somebody to tell us what to think or to forbid us from reading certain things. We don't need clauses like blasphemy, infallibility, heresy or unquestionable doctrines and we don't use fear and threats to keep people in line. Atheist parents with children encourage them to ask questions, to think critically and not to take anything at face value.

Matt, I think we are both stereotyping each other, so fair enough. You think religion is all about following the leaders (sheeps). But there are many religious philosophers, Jewish and Muslim philosophers who were no less interested in understanding the world and finding the truth than great atheist scientists. There is dogma on both sides.