Marge: "I was saving this money for my husband's breast reduction surgery..."

Homer: Uh...excuse me, Mr. Burns?
Burns: [gasps] Poppin' Fresh! You glutinous little doughboy.
[Homer morphs into Poppin' Fresh in Burns' mind]
[chuckles]
There's something I've wanted to do to you for years!
[starts poking his stomach; Homer laughs]
Homer: [getting his eyes poked at] Ow! Heh, Mr. Burns? I, er, was wondering if you'd like to sponsor my bowling team...for...$500.
Burns: Ho ho, why, certainly, Poppin' Fresh! I owe my robust physique to your tubes of triple-bleached goo.
Homer: Woo hoo! [runs out] Hey, everybody: if you want to ask Burns for a favor, now's the time! He's doped up, or dying, or something.
Hans Moleman: [running in] Uh, excuse me: I'd like to request $17 for a push-broom rebristling.
[shows broom with no bristles on it]
Burns: Why, it's that delightful TV leprechaun. I'm going to get your Lucky Charms. [starts a drill]
Hans: Oh, no: my brains.

Lurleen: Oh, Homer, you're just a big sack of sugar!

Homer: Thanks... you did say sugar, right?

During a Blackout in Springfield:

Krusty: "I can't read porno by candlelight. What am I? Abe Lincoln?"

top 5

homer 'trying is the first step towards failure'

bart the star player wearing crutches hobbling up to coach homer 'dad ive got some bad news...., homer ' oh your mothers not pregnant is she'

homer puts cypress creek video into player, homer: eh lets watch somthing else, marge your trying to convince us to move here

young homer: and we never drank again, present homer: and we never did..takes a swig

homer to marge: now i know what i can offer you that noone else can..complete and utter dependence!! lolololol

Movementarian Lady: Would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment?

Homer: What kind of beer?

Homer: "See Marge, I told you they could deep-fry my t-shirt."

Moe: "I've been called ugly, pug-ugly, fugly, pug-fugly...never ugly ugly."

Rappin Rabbis (sung to "Can't Touch This"): "Don't eat pork, not even with a fork...can't touch this!"

Marge: "Homer, is this how you pictured married life?"

Homer: "Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries."