Homer goes to Florida because of Insomnia
Homer: "Guess how many boobs i saw today, Marge?.....fifteen."
Passes out on Couch

Mr. Burns: I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant.

Apu: Jiminy Cricket! Wooh, expired ham. [scribbles over the expiry date] Oh, this time I have gone to far. No, no one will fall for --

Homer: Woo hoo! Cheap meat! [picks it up] Ooh, this one's open. [starts eating it]

Homer: "Hey Apu, do you have any of those potato chips that give you diarrhea? I need to do a little spring cleaning."

Homer deciding who to vote for, Mayor Quimby or Side Show Bob
Homer: "I don't agree with his Bart killing policy, but I do agree with his Selma killing policy."

Marge:Oh, Homie, I still can't believe a piece of broccoli killed you!
Homer: [picks up the broccoli and looks at it] What the hell was I thinking?
[pops it into his mouth and chokes to death again]
[a ghost rises from his prostrate ghost and rises to Heaven again]
[to St. Peter, sheepishly] I tried the broccoli again.
St. Peter: [sighs]..You have 23 hours left.
[opens the trapdoor again]

Kill the Alligator and Run
Homer(wrapped in child's sleeping bag): "You've got to help me! Death is after me, and i don't entirely trust these cowboys (points at cowboys on sleeping bag)."

Homer talking to therapist
Therapist: "You Hate your father don't you?"
Homer: "Sometimes, but the guy i really hate is your father."

[Homer goes shopping for fireworks at the Li'l Valu-Mart, with a clerk that looks almost like Apu.]

Homer: Hi... ummm... let me have some of those porno magazines... large box of condoms... a couple of those panty shields [quickly] and some illegal fireworks [back to normal] and one of those disposable enemas. Ehhh... make it two.

Employee: My apologies, sir, but the sale of fireworks is prohibited in this state and is punishable by a f...
[the last customer leaves] Follow me.

[The clerk shows Homer into his stockpile of fireworks.]

Employee: Any red-blooded, flag-fearing American would love the M-320. Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.

[Homer buys a stick of M-320.]

[Marge goes through Homer's purchase.]

Marge: I don't know what you have planned tonight, but count me out.

Marge: Didn't you buy any meat?
Homer: [stroking a firecracker] This baby's sure to kill something.

Lionel Hutz: He'll be back. And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in this state -- often as a lawyer.

Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure were great characters. Phil Hartman's death was the end of the great episodes of The Simpsons.

Hutz: I move for a bad court thingy.
Judge Snyder: You mean a mistrial.
Hutz: Right!! That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.
Judge: You mean the lawyer?
Hutz: Right.

Hutz: Mrs Simpson, your sexual harassment case is just what I need to rebuild my shattered career! Care to join me in a belt of Scotch?
Marge: But it's 9:30 in the morning!
Hutz: Yeah but... I haven't slept in days. [glug, glug] Last chance! [glug, glug] Ohh yeah!