Homer: I love you Pepsi

Pepi: It's Pepi

Homer: "Hey, What Does This Job Pay?"
Carl: "Nothing"
Homer: "D'oh!"
Carl: "Unless You're crooked"
Homer: "Whooo Hoooo!"

Homer: "Jeez, Moe, you've been a real crank lately"
Moe: {Pulls a shotgun and points it at Homer} "You take that back!"
Homer: "Now you see, that's what I'm talking about. You're always pointing that shotgun at us"
Moe: {Points the shotgun at Lenny}
Lenny: "...and calling us dumbasses"
Moe: {Points the shotgun at Carl}
Carl: "...which we're so not"

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

Homer: That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed. Wow. A *blue car*.

Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.

Homer: Homer no function beer well without.

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

Barney: Hey, Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left.