Such a good show. SO many good quotes:

When they are in Bronson Missouri where everyone looks like Charles Bronson

Bronson looking kid: "Hey Ma, How about some cookies?"
Bronson looking Mom: "No dice"
Bronson looking Kid: "This ain't over!"

Cletus: "I can see my house from here, Hey Ma, get off the dang roof!"

Scorpio: "Stop that man, he's suppossed to die"

Homer "But I can't be a missionary. I don't even believe in Jeebus... Oh Help me Jeebus"

Homer is going to drive Red's truck to make his last delivery and Bart wants to come with him.
Homer: "Don't you have school?"
Bart: "Don't you have work?"
Homer: "Touche"

Homer: "If I die you have to carry on the family name"
Bart: "No way, As soon as I'm old enough I'm changing my name to Joe Kickass!
Homer: "That is so cool"

Homer "Where's Bart? His food is gettting all cold and eaten"

Homer is entering a a rubber duck race to win Marge a computer

Homer: "Don't worry Marge. Me and terrible two here are going to win that computer for you"
Marge: "How can you be sure?"
*Homer draws two angry eybrows on the rubber duck*
Homer: "Cause he wants it!"

Barney Quits Drinking
Bart: "You did it Dad."
Homer: "You can't prove I did it."
Lisa: "No! You saved our lives."
Homer: "I could do a lot of things if I had some money."
Lisa: "What?"

Surprised this one wasn't on here...my fav. quote of all time:

Homer: You're cute as a bug's ear.
Lisa: Fathers have to say that stuff!
Homer: [sees Grampa walk pass] Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?
Grampa: No, you're as homely as a mule's butt!
Homer: [to Lisa] There, see?

Nelson: "Your old man has an awesome nose."
Bart: "That's nothing. He can hear pudding."

Homer's Phobia

Marge: "Homer! Didn't John seems a little festive."
Homer: "Couldn't agree more, happy as a clam."
Marge: "He prefers the company of men."
Homer: "Who doesn't?"
Marge: "Homer, listen carefully. John is a Ho-mo
Homer: "Right."
Marge: "Sexual."

Same Episode

Marge: "I'm very sorry you feel that way, because John invited us all out for a drive today. And we're going."
Homer: "Wowhaho! Not me! And not because John's gay, but because he's a sneak. He should at least have the good taste to mince around and let everyone know that he's...that way."
Marge: "What on earth are you talking about?"
Homer: "You know me Marge, I like my beer cold, my tv loud, and my homosexuals flaming?"

Ralph: "Oh boy sleep! That's were I'm a viking."

Homer to Marge
"I'd kill for you, please ask me to kill for you!"

Homer to the Max
Trent Steel: "You had lunch yet?"
Max Power(Homer):"Yea. But i usually have two or three."
Trent Steel: "You like tai?"
Max Power: "Tie good. You like shirt?"

Bart: Why don't you ever listen to me when i tell you how i'm feeling?

Homer: that's the dumbest thing i ever heard you stupid little kid

Prinicipal Skinner: You did it Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.


Lionel Hutz: No don't you worry Mrs. Simpson, I-Uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Hutz: Well, replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly,” and the word “dog” with “son.”

Homer: Just once I'd like someone to call me "Sir" without adding "You're making a scene."