Conan the Barbarian(2011)



I had no desire to see this movie what so ever. But it stars the insanely good looking Rachel Nichols so I gave it a watch.

I'm going to break down each thing because I feel I need to.

Story- This movie has two main stories going on. Conan wanting revenge for the killing of his people and father... all good. I love that story line. I love revenge story lines no matter how many times I see them. The other story line is Khalar Zym(played by Stephen Lang) in which he's trying to get pieces of a mask that have been scattered across the land, then get a pure chick who's got the right blood line all so that he can resurrect his ugly wife and become a all powerful god... I cannot stand this shit. If you want to be a supernatural movie be a gooddamn supernatural movie. Don't hop in and out. Are you an action movie about a tyrant and a barbarian or are you trying to be more? Make up your goddamn mind! I have this problem with all movies that try to do stupid shit like this. A good example of this is the animated TMNT movie. Good flick, awesome animation, but stuuuuppppiiid super natural bullshit side story. You are not the winchesters bitch! It almost NEVER works in any movie. It's just pure idiocy on the writers part. Why do you need this in a movie? honestly? why? It's stupid. Write a movie about vampires or the fucking power rangers if you want to add this and this and this to make this... jesus.

Cast/Acting- I actually really liked the cast.
Jason Momoa as Conan- The dude looks like a beast. He's huge and he's got an slightly evil but you know he's good charisma about him. I buy him as a barbarian.
Stephen Lang- I think he's sort of a shit one tune actor(at least in his last 3 roles) but he actually fit this role pretty well and played a bad crazed bad guy pretty well.
Rachel Nichols- She needed to look hot..check... be sort of a badass..check... I sort of feel she's underrated as an actress as she's proving on her new show. I think she's a great action actress.
Rose Mcgowen- One of the worst actresses on the planet but you know what? In this role she actually fit it perfectly.. her bad acting works for this character.

Action-The scenes where Conan young and adult fights multiple guys are pretty awesome. Scenes where he's one on one with Zym are a mixed bag. They basically have 3 separate fights.. one ok..one bad..one good. Conan even fights some sand people that Rose's stupid character magically gets to pop out of the sand and despite some cool shit that they do it made no sense that she just didn't make 100 of them and kill Conan.They were useless since they couldn't even take out a chick with a small knife.

The first two acts I enjoyed. The final act was sort of meh. Anti climatic in a way and it jumped off with a sort of "hey lets throw in a sex scene to fuck the pacing up" scene. I didn't mind it mind you.. it was naked Rachel(assuming it wasn't a double)but it was pointless and not all that well done.

You may be thinking after reading this(did anyone read it? ) that I hated this movie huh? I actually enjoyed it because of Jason and Rachel and some of the action and how much of a bad ass Conan is. It's not a good movie but it's also not as bad as the critics would lead you to believe.

C+